I started this blog back in March when I had just left my employer...a bit abruptly...and was contemplating what to do next. The first 4 - 5 months were rough and I felt for a long time that I didn't have a plan and was probably done with my career, which was a bit frightening. In a way I could have adjusted to being done, but what I was struggling with was finding a purpose.
I believe that all living things have to have a purpose, especially us 'human types'. We all need a reason to get up in the morning, a reason to go about our day and feel fulfilled at bedtime that something was accomplished. For some, that fulfillment comes from a day in the office, for others taking care of the family, and others can be fine having accomplished very little for the day. All of those options are fine...I just needed to find my purpose.
I struggled for months and was basically a chip in the wind. One day retiring and not doing much was fine, the next day I would apply for another executive job. A week later I would think that I should apply for a job at Macy's...ugh! Some time around August, my husband and I were out to dinner and I was lamenting my lack of direction and how part of me wanted to venture into a career again and how the other part of me wanted to stay home and watch TV. He asked me a simple, yet profound question..."if money were not in the picture, what would you want to do?" It's a cliche, but powerful question. The first answer I gave him was the lottery answer...if we won the lottery, I would buy a vineyard with a winery and start a charitable foundation. And, most importantly, I would hire a lot of my friends to work at each. We would live on the winery and I would walk the vines with my dog and have the foundation office on site as well. Ahhhh, a girl can dream!
But, then I answered the real question...what I wanted to do was work part-time in my consulting business and teach college classes. My husband was a bit surprised by my professorial desires...but, he said, "well, then that is what you should do." I was stunned at that moment, not by his support (he is awesome!), but by actually saying out loud what I wanted to do. I think I had been scared to make a commitment for fear of failure. I'm a confident person and I think I am very capable at what I do...but, I am terrified to make a mistake or to not be competent. I hadn't seriously engaged in consulting yet...and I would have to go back to school and get a Master's Degree in order to teach...I hadn't been a student for many, many years.
My research began. First, I networked heavily to get my consulting business going. I had quite a few prospect meetings and got turned down plenty...but, I reconnected with Intel and was hired as a consultant for a business unit that is growing and international. Yea! My first gig and with a one year contract to boot! Oh yeah...it's part time! Next came looking for the right degree program. I was certain I was going to pursue a MBA until I started looking at programs within my career discipline, Human Resources. I was surprised how much was out there and I did plenty of analysis before I landed on what I think is the most amazing Master's I found...M.A. in Organizational Leadership at Gonzaga University. The course of study is right up my alley and one of the classes requires two weeks of study in Florence, Italy. Feel sorry for me!
So, I now have a purpose or two...my consulting gig with Intel is just great and I get to travel to China and Korea at the end of November...South Korea, of course. And, I will most likely start at Gonzaga in March 2013. The other plus that really rounds out my life is joining a non-profit board where I am the Chair of Fundraising and Sponsorships. I am making some money, going back to school, and giving back to the community. I feel a great sense of balance that I haven't felt in a very long time...probably years.
I may now have to retire this blog and maybe start a new one...'cause now I know "What to do now."
